Thursday, July 28, 2016

the misadventures of a single life

July 24, 2016

There is nothing like spending time with extended family, their spouses and children to drive home my singleness; the price of my independent life.

This particular return trip East, as I dread returning to my obligations, makes for the logical reach for Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance: a desperate grasp at understanding my perpetual singleness in age of technology and endless opportunity.

So far some of my dating choices call into question any rational decision making process I have. To be sure, I have dated some wonderful guys and left them for some minutia I built into the Great Wall of China of relationship roadblocks and found safety in singleness once again. But others have been more questionable like dating a former cartel member. No, there was not a Cadillac with tinted windows to warn me. Turns out those guys look like everyone else and wear just as much hair gel. And then there was the psychiatry attending while I was a medical student. Red flags galore, but I zoomed past them at 100 miles per hour keeping pace with the warp speed romance because he was hot, could ski and had a dog.

And Mr. Ansari relays a bon point with his apt analysis of our generation: “we’re in a hallway with millions of doors. That’s a lot of doors. It’s nice to have all those options. But – a hallway with millions of doors? Is that better? Is it terrifying? . . . Today we want a bunch of doors as options and we are very cautious about which one we open.” Yes, Mr. Ansari, a million doors is terrifying.

People tell me I am fun to hang out with and I have friends. I’m highly educated; well, perhaps more aptly, I have spent thousands of dollars on learning, though I venture a guess the jury is still out on how educated I actually am. In all those years spent at academic centers I took for granted the hundreds of people with whom I rubbed shoulders, assuming at some point I would simply run into “the one” and the rest would be history.

Now I spend free time reading journal articles in a desperate attempt to fill knowledge gaps or trying to understand market trends and finance for my obligations associated with my family’s foundation rather than chase after my epic soul mate. Where does that leave me at the end of the day? Too chicken to ask the adorable guy doing the crossword puzzle two seats down from me on this plane for his phone number? Who does a crossword puzzle on a Sunday plane ride across the country? My future husband, that’s who. Alas, we will never meet as the last several years have taught me how to study hard and say very little which now is a practice that seems counter productive.


As the plane touches down and I shuffle off to the next connecting flight, 4 total in this cross country venture, I wonder who might be on that one and what would I say if only this post-modern dating scene wasn’t so terrifying or such a tease.

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